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Who I Am and Why Start a Blog




I'm a 36 year old female who is chronically ill, disabled and currently at the end of her rope. (I've decided to attempt to remain anonymous, but that may change at some point.) I'm exhausted on every level and tired of countless doctor appointments, surgeries and being picked and poked at. I was originally diagnosed with Lupus SLE at age 23, but since then I've acquired many more diagnosis such as Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, Severe Asthma, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, Anemia, Hyperthyroidism/Hypothyroidism, Polyarthopathy, Tachycardia, Migraines, Chronic Urticaria, Panic Disorder, Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, spinal stenosis in the neck, hernia discs, severe reflux and hiatal hernia. I also recently found out that I have labral tears in both hips with a cyst in the right hip. I'm currently awaiting my appointment with a specialist where I'm going to be told I need total hip replacements.


Looking back, I've shown symptoms of RA and Lupus my entire life, but growing up the 90's, I was told it was growing pains and to get over it. I was a competitive dancer from age 2-19, so I was always active. I opened my own dance studio at 20 years old. During this time, I also acquired three college degrees. Unfortunately, due to my declining health, I decided to sell my business 7 years later and move from the Midwest to Florida in hope of the better weather magically curing me. It didn't cure me, but I did find much better doctors and not having to survive freezing temperatures does help a little. I'm currently on disability trying to figure out how to survive this nightmare and how to have a purpose in life while not over doing it but also trying to keep up with everyone around me and convince them that I'm not a waste of space. In future blogs, I will break down more details into my illnesses, procedures/surgeries and other experiences. I'm hoping this will be a healthy outlet and a place where others can find comfort in knowing they're not alone.

I've decided to start a blog mainly out of frustration, feeling alone, and the need to get real information out there. I've realized within my interactions with healthy people, that they lack the understanding of the stress and constrictions that are placed on chronically ill and disabled people. Unless you are living this nightmare, you're completely unaware. I'm tired of people saying it could be worse, look for positive, or there's a hidden blessing somewhere. It honestly makes me want to punch something. This blog won't be pretty, or sugar coated. This will be real stories, feelings, information, and thoughts.

I'm hoping this blog will help others in this situation feel less alone, help share resources, and help those interacting with us to have a better understanding of what we're going through and the support we desire. This will start off with my experiences and opinions, but I would love to hear from others and add their thoughts as well.

I hope this gives you a better understanding of what this blog will be about and a little bit about myself. I'd really like to create a community where we can share our experiences and needs, help others who feel alone, and help the healthy people around us gain a better understanding of what we're going through.

I made an Instagram to share memes, inspiration and other information. Follow me @chronicallyspeakingblog

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Getting Diagnosed

Have you ever had the moment where you get such life changing news that you freeze and can see and feel your entire world crashing around you.  Everything suddenly makes sense and your brain is making connections and explanations for things you once couldn't explain. This was how I felt being diagnosed with Lupus. It was all very overwhelming, and you're not told how much your life will change, or how to cope with it all.   I have been tired and fatigued my whole existence and never thought anything of it.  I thought waking up in the morning was physically painful for everyone.  I've always fractured bones easily and had numerous other injuries throughout my life and could never figure out why.  I had daily migraines and was told by doctors that it was hormonal and that I would outgrow it.   Fast forward to age 23 when I was recovering from having the meniscus in my left knee removed.  I had made an appointment with my sports medicine doctor because I thought I had possibly

Resentment for the Healthy

  One of the things I really struggle with as a chronically person is when people close to me don't feel well or have a sore joint and act like it's the end of the world.  I understand it sucks to be sick and in pain, I am every single day all day long. They get one minor inconvenience and they're able to take the day off and I end up taking care of them.  That's fine and I don't mind except I'm worse than that on a daily basis and no one is fussing over me or saying, just take it easy.  It builds a lot of resent for me because I wish I were able to feel so good most of the time that one symptom seems like the end of the world to me.   Because I am chronically ill, I am just expected to get used to it, or suck it up and still function like everyone else. A "normal, healthy person" would never function under the circumstances that we do.  Their minds can't even begin to comprehend the level of illness and pain we function with. I wish I had that pri